“If I had listened to everything everybody ever said about me and believed about me, I would have been institutionalized a long time ago.”
Donald and his twin brother Ronald were born in San Bernardino in 1951. By age one, it became clear that both boys had Cerebral Palsy (CP), a physical disability that affects movement and posture.
My brother, my twin brother -- we’re identical, you know. Identical. Right down to the little bald spot on the back of the head. Everything. You see me, you see him. It was so identical, it was unreal. But, he could not walk. He was afflicted with CP, like I was, but it was worse for him.
Donald was able to go to school. Brother Ronald, however, had a more difficult time. He was unable to walk, and he required 24-hour assistance. At the age of seven, Ronald was sent to a state hospital where he could receive professional care. From that point, Donald always felt out of place in his family.
When I got home, it seemed like everybody was angry. I worried about it, because I couldn’t figure out why ... but I guess I was a bit of an embarrassment, and a reminder everyday of what went wrong. After my brother went to the state hospital I thought, ‘Maybe I’m next.’
The dolls on display here were made by Donald’s grandmother, who he remembers as treating him and his brother with kindness and love, rather than contempt and fear.
For her I was just like any of the other kids. Anything she could do for me, she would. She was real sweet and always a source of positive reinforcement and encouragement. The dolls reflect all of the time she spent thinking and caring about us. She died right at 100 years old, and I miss her a lot.
Donald left home at the age of 18. He finished high school and went on to earn both Bachelors and Masters degrees. Determined to help the disadvantaged and disenfranchised, Donald found employment as a social worker in Riverside County. He went on to serve as a supervisor with Child Protective Services
What I really hope happens is that this story can inspire someone who has these same kinds of challenges in their childhood. They should know that they can make it -- there’s somebody out there who knows what their plight is, and who knows how difficult it really is. Meet your challenges with a positive attitude, make adjustments when needed, and succeed with pride because it is only you who will determine what you can truly accomplish.
Donald is now retired. He lives with his wife and together they enjoy watching their son’s daughter grow up. While a younger brother lives in Oklahoma, Donald’s twin brother Ronald passed away in 2008.
I still miss my brother more than anybody. I miss my mom, and I miss my dad, but I miss my brother the most. And I wait to see him, someday, when I go up. We were close, and we’re still close.
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