“It’s just a feeling I have, it’s just a warmth — remembering the love that was there. When I think of my grandfather – or, the idea of him – it makes me think of my grandmother, too. And so, it’s just that me. There was just love there”
Robert Gonzalez was born in Los Angeles in 1984. Between the ages of two and four, he lived in a home in El Cerrito that was just a few houses away from his maternal grandparents’. During this time he developed a special bond with his grandfather.
I was at my grandparents’ house everyday. My grandfather suffered a stroke and had some health problems when I was little, so my mother, living so close, would just go over every day and help out, and us kids would go play.
While at his grandparents’ house, Robert would always climb into his grandfather’s lap, and reach for the pipe in his grandfather’s mouth.
As a baby I’d go up to him and want to sit with him. He wasn’t very mobile, but he had this corner where his chair was, and he had his pipe – he was known for his pipe. I would sit with him. And at that point he wasn’t smoking, but he would have the pipe, as an oral fixation I would think.
One day Robert’s grandfather, reached into a drawer and pulled out a smaller pipe for Robert to play with. From that point on, the two of them would sit together, with their pipes in their mouths, passing the day.
I don’t remember when he gave it to me, I don’t remember chewing on it. But, I always knew it was an important part of my relationship with my grandfather. People in my family reinforce that — they tell me, ‘You used to love to sit with your grandfather for a long me and just chew on your pipe.’
Robert has no specific memories of his grandfather, who died before Robert turned three. What Robert does recall is a sense and a feeling of what it was like to spend time with his grandfather.
I have a feeling and an idea of him. Like many of us will at times remember the smell of a place, or the feel of a place ‐‐ I remember my grandfather in that sense of just being at my grandparents’ house, the smell of the tobacco pipe, running around. I remember where his chair was. And that he used to take me to McDonald’s ... The memory is really just a warmth. A real warming feeling.
The two pipes — on display here — remind Robert of his grandparents, his special bond with his grandfather, and the wonderful warmth he felt as a child.
This is from a man who existed, who loved me. This object is backing up that feeling – you know, my grandpa’s pipe! He loved me, my grandma loved me, I was loved ... I see this and I go to that place.